How To (And Why You Should) Live More Cat

January 27, 2020 Mrs W20 Comments

Why you should live your life a little more like our feline friends… and how to make that happen.

If there’s one thing you should know about me (apart from my serious book-buying addiction) it’s that I seriously love cats.
A lot of people say you’re either a dog person or a cat person, and I am 100% a cat person. I love their fluffiness, their grumpiness, their fierce independence, and the fact that when I get home after work, there is always a furry friend waiting to cuddle me and keep me company.

(For the few of you who are cat-obsessed as I am and are now desperate to know – I have a very large, very vocal, black and white cat called Felix. We rescued him when he was 7 years old and very overweight, and I love him possible more than I love my own husband…)

Anyway – cat person, dog person, reptile person – everyone is welcome here! And you don’t have to be a cat person to learn something from this post, I hope.

I believe that we could all benefit from living more ‘cat’.

Let me explain. There are a number of qualities and attributes of our feline friends that I think us mere humans could learn from. Things that could improve our work lives, make us feel more confident, and ultimately improve our wellbeing. (There are already a few books written about this, so if you find this post interesting, you could always read more. For example, ‘How To Argue With A Cat’*.)

Here are four ways tp Live More Cat:

Be Assertive

Cats are never afraid to say what they want. In fact, my cat is currently shouting at my husband downstairs, because he knows it’s dinner time! He knows exactly what he wants, and he will tell us straight. Time for dinner? Tell the humans. Want a cuddle? Tell the humans. Want to be left alone? Definitely tell them!
Now, I’m not saying you should start hissing at the next person to annoy you in a team meeting. However, couldn’t we all benefit from being a little bit more assertive? As tough as it can be, especially for those of us with anxiety or similar issues, it is often well worth saying what you need. That could be to your boss, a colleague, a friend or a partner. Try it, and see where it gets you.

Be Wary, But Loyal

Perhaps I don’t mean ‘wary’ – that sounds a bit negative. What I mean is, trust carefully when you need to. It’s not healthy to be paranoid and think the worst of everyone you meet, but it also isn’t always a good idea to fully trust everybody straight away. Hold off a little, let people earn your trust, but then be loyal to your friends.
Many people talk about how loyal dogs are, but actually many cats are too. Once you’ve developed a good relationship with your cat, they will stick with you. Isn’t that the kind of friend we all aspire to be?

Always Be A Bit Kitten

So, I’m telling you to be more cat – but what about kittens? Cute, fluffy little balls of absolute crazy! They love to play and just have fun! They don’t mind a bump here or a scratch there, they just want to play and have fun and enjoy themselves.
If you have a cat, you’ll be aware of the ‘crazy hour’. If you’re unfamiliar, essentially it is this: Just as you want to go to sleep, and the house is serene and quiet, your cat will go bananas. Your 9 year old tired tabby suddenly becomes a kitten again, and wants to play with you all night long!
Letting a little kitten energy into our lives could do us all a lot of good. Have a play, have some fun and let out some energy. Maybe try a new sport, or simply let yourself really let go and laugh at your favourite comedy. Have fun and act like a child, just for the sake of it.

And finally…

Rest

Cats sleep for an average of 15 hours a day. Admittedly, they don’t have jobs to hold down or blog posts to publish, but that’s not to say we can’t take inspiration from them here too.
Cats know that rest is important, particularly if they’re going to enjoy an enthusiastic crazy hour!
Rest is so key for humans to. You know the saying ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup‘? So true. Your work will suffer and your relationships will suffer if you are not able to properly rest and recooperate ono a regular basis.
I don’t know what that rest looks like to you. Perhaps it’s an extra hour in bed on Sunday, or maybe it’s your weekly yoga class, or a solo coffee date on a Saturday morning. Make sure you have enough rest to let your body – and mind – recover from your busy schedule.

That was just four quick ideas of how you can introduce more ‘cat’ into your lifestyle. If you have any more ideas, or you know how you’re going to incorporate one of these into your week, please do let me know in the comments below. 🙂

‘Big Issue Guilt’ and Why It’s Okay to Start Small

May 30, 2019June 9, 2019 Mrs W16 Comments

The world is a big scary place.

Let’s be honest, there are a lot of things to feel worried, annoyed or stressed about at the moment, outside of the bubble of our own lives. Politicians are making some pretty dreadful decisions on our behalf, the planet’s falling to pieces and sometimes it feels like we’re taking a backwards step in our battle for equality and fair rights.

I know that’s a pretty negative way to start a blog post, but stick with me if you can.

I know that all the negative news stories and bad things happening around the world can be make us feel really, really bad. I’ve recently deleted the news app I had on my phone, because I found that scrolling through it every day just made me feel sad and overwhelmed. As soon as I deleted the app, however, I felt guilty. Shouldn’t I be taking an interest in world news? Shouldn’t I be educating myself as much as possible so that I can help people to make the world a better place?

Here lies the problem.

I call it ‘big issue guilt’ – that guilt you feel when you can’t single-handedly solve the huge problems that the world is facing. When you feel like you’re never doing enough.

You’re using metal straws and re-usable coffee cups. You buy eco-friendly cleaning products and none of your make-up is tested on animals. You adopted your pet cat from a rescue, rather than buying from a breeder. You avoid ‘fast fashion’ as much as you can within your tight budget. You celebrate LGBT authors and try hard to buy books with diverse characters at their heart. You vote in elections and don’t eat meat.

But somehow, it just doesn’t feel enough.

You can’t fix climate change by using a metal water bottle.

So part of you starts to think, what’s the point? You get overwhelmed by ‘big issue guilt’ and your anxiety starts to spiral.

Sound familiar?

I’m hoping it’s not just me that feels this way! I am always trying to improve my awareness of the world’s issues and see what I can do to help. I am that person I described above, always making sure to vote, educate myself, and change my purchasing habits to try to help. But I quite often get paralysed by this fear and guilt that I can’t ever do enough. And no, I can’t fix climate change by myself or stop the beauty industry from testing on animals ever again. I can’t make politicians see the sense in allowing abortions or gay marriage, but I can do my part.

At the end of the day, all we can do is start small. If enough of us are making small changes to our day or speaking up now and then, it will all add up and, hopefully, start to change the minds of the people in charge, whose changes really matter!

It’s okay to start small. You can’t solve every huge world problem. Your anxiety is not going to thank you for trying. But you can…

Make eco-friendly and sustainable purchases where possible.
Go vegan, vegetarian or try meat-free Mondays.
When you go out for coffee, take a re-usable cup. Maybe even try a non-diary milk alternative.
Save up your money for a bit longer and buy from an ethical retailer, rather than a high street store.
Recycle what you can, when you can.
Eat your leftovers.
Sign petitions for things you really care about.
Vote in elections whenever you are able to.

If we all do the small things, it’ll all add up. Spending all your time feeling guilty is exhausting, and I promise you, you are doing enough as long as you are trying.

I hope this made sense! Do you feel the same way? Is there anything small that you do to try and help with a ‘big issue’?

What Self-Care Looks Like To Me

March 17, 2019March 16, 2019 Mrs W5 Comments

Well, it’s been a while!

I haven’t written a post in quite a few months, which I’m sure not many people have noticed, but I wanted to get back into the swing of things and start blogging more frequently again.

So, this #SelfCareSunday, I thought I’d talk a little bit about what self-care looks like to me…

Preventative Self-Care

barbell on the floor — Photo by Leon Martinez on Pexels.com

I’ve been trying to put more of my time this year into preventative self-care. That is, taking care of myself to keep my body and mind healthy, to avoid any down-turns in my mental health, rather than waiting until I feel the need to use self-care to recover.

One of the main ways I’ve been doing this (hint the picture above…) is heading to the gym. I have a real love-hate relationship with exercise on the whole, but I do know that if I drag myself out the house and go for a jog, or sweat my way through a gym class, I do feel better. This works if I’m in a bad mood, but I have also noticed that on the weeks that I put the effort in to work out more often, I feel better on the whole.

I also like to make sure that I am always getting enough sleep. I am someone who needs plenty of sleep to function properly! I know this fact about myself, so why starve myself of sleep? For me to feel calm and prepared for the day ahead, I need to have had a good night’s sleep.

Self-Care First Aid

white bed comforter — Photo by Jaymantri on Pexels.com

Sometimes (frequently) you have a bad (awful) day, filled with stress and panic, and you need some serious self-care time that evening to recover.

On those days (and there are plenty of them, believe me!) I like to take time to myself to calm down, relax and repair. This will look different all the time, but it usually involves some of the following:

Climbing into bed early.
Curling up with a good book. (Have you read my post on The Best Book Genres for a Cosy Night In?)
Watching Netflix. (I might write a Netflix recommendations post soon, if you’d be interested in reading that then please let me know in the comments!)
Cuddling my cat.
Cooking up some delicious comfort food.
Taking a bath with lots of Dead Sea salts.
Stretching/attempting some funny-looking yoga.

I have found that doing some more pro-active and preventative self-care has lessened the frequency of those ‘first aid’ days, but sometimes you just have to spend a few hours recovering.

What does self-care look like to you?

If you want to read more about my self-care habits, I have written posts before on winter self-care ideas and low energy self-care activities.

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5 Winter Self-Care Ideas

November 18, 2018 Mrs W23 Comments

There are lots of things to moan about in the winter – who really likes the dark evenings and stepping in a huge puddle? However, there are also lots of things to love about the winter too. Like the lighter mornings, the crisp, clean feel to the air, and the atmosphere of celebration around the holidays.

The cold weather and the dark can take their toll on your mood if you’re not careful – as can the holidays, which are often difficult times for people, for all sorts of reasons. For these reasons, it is really important to take care of yourself in the colder months. Self-care can be a solution to a bad day or, even better, a preventative measure, carried out little and often to help keep those low days at bay.

Here are 5 simple self-care ideas for you to try out this winter:

Put on clean bed sheets. (Bonus points if they have a wintery pattern, are fleecy, or accompany your change to the ‘winter duvet’.)
There’s nothing quite like climbing into your bed at the end of the day when the sheets are brand new and super comfortable. If you’re having trouble sleeping, make sure your room is at the right temperature for you and perhaps try a sleep spray or a hot milky drink as well.

Photo by Jaymantri on Pexels.com
Bake a treat for someone.
Baking on its own is often therapeutic, but why not add on the additional joy of taking what you’ve made and sharing it with someone. Maybe your co-workers would like a Monday pick-me-up, or an elderly neighbour would really appreciate the gesture? If you’re not a confident baker and want to start off with something more simple, the packet mixes you can get from supermarkets that just involve adding water or eggs are brilliant. They are also great for baking with young children!
Wrap up warm and go for a walk.

I love to grab my collapsible coffee cup, put on a thick scarf, and go for a long walk.

This is one of my favourite activities, despite the cold weather. When it’s a dry but cold day, I love to wrap up in my cosiest jumper, a thick scarf and a woolly hat, and head out for a walk. If I’m going by myself, I’ll often take a book to stop off somewhere and have a read, or I’ll listen to a podcast whilst I walk. If it’s me and my fiance walking, we’ll often play Pokemon Go on our route, or just enjoy the time to talk with no distractions. My reusable cup filled with coffee often joins us on the walk too! This activity is great for your mind, as well as getting your legs moving and incorporating a little bit of exercise into your self-care routine.
Read a book in bed.
Simple, classic, and a perfect activity for a wet and rainy day. Grab a hot drink, curl up in your duvet and appreciate having the time to do nothing except read your favourite book. For winter reads I particularly love horrors, thrillers, historical fiction and crime novels.
Have a totally indulgent hot bath or shower.

I know that I’ve said before that self-care is about more than just hot bubble baths, however sometimes that is exactly what you need. Treat yourself to a warming and relaxing bath to escape the cold weather and relax. If baths aren’t your thing, just allow yourself the indulgence of not worrying too much about the hot water bill for a few minutes and whack the heat up on your shower. Choose a luxuriously scented shower gel, sing as loud as you like and feel the tension melt away.

What do you love most about the colder months?

Hopefully, if the cold weather has got you feeling blue, there are a couple of ideas here that can help you take care of yourself. (If you think you’re low feelings are more serious, or that you may be suffering from SAD or similar, I urge you to seek advice from a professional.)

Happy winter!

8 Low Energy Self-Care Ideas

August 26, 2018June 22, 2019 Mrs W6 Comments

In one of my recent posts, I discussed how I think that ‘traditional’ or ‘mainstream’ self-care suggestions aren’t always accessible. A long evening that starts with a bubble bath, moves on to a manicure and ends with a big nourishing salad eaten in peace sounds idyllic, but also isn’t something I have the energy or resources to do on a day when my depression or anxiety is biting me in the backside.

So what can we do to take care of ourselves when we’re having a bad mental health day, we’re low on time, or we just don’t want to go down the traditional pampering route?

Here are 8 ideas for simple activities or tasks that are 100% examples of self-care, should help you feel better, and don’t require you to have a ton of energy, time, or money:

Get out of bed. Just roll out from under the duvet, slide your feet into a comfy pair of slippers if you have them, and stand up. That’s all you need to do to start a day where you feel better. Bonus points for making your bed, so you’re less tempted to climb back in.
Wash your face. Whether it’s a splash of cold water, the old reliable face wipe, or a full five-step skincare routine, this will make you feel more awake and just a bit more human. And on that note…
Have a shower. Even if you all you can manage is to stand (or sit) underneath the water for 5 minutes, that’s okay. Again, human feelings will commence shortly.
Put on comfy (but ‘outside acceptable’) clothes. You know the ones I mean. Not pyjamas, but in many ways, even better. You could pop to the shops if you needed to, but you’re just as comfy as you need to be for a day at home.
Make yourself a drink. Hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows, your favourite cup of coffee, a fancy mocktail, a green juice, or simply a tall, cold, glass of water. Get yourself a drink that will hydrate you, calm you, comfort you and refresh you. My only advice? Stick to non-alcoholic if you’re trying to look after yourself.
Talk to someone. Pick up the phone and call your mum. Text a friend. Talk to your cat. Do whatever you can to just share your brain with someone. You don’t have to tell them what’s bothering you, just ask them about their day and get out of your own mind for a little while.
Watch something comforting. For me, it’s usually The Simpsons, Friends or QI. You can always see what I’m currently watching here.
Eat something colourful. Whether you take colourful to mean a big bowl of fruit or a handful of jellybeans, do what makes your soul feel good. You could even try baking something yourself, if you have the energy.